Getting back to "Normal"

So I mentioned I went to the doctor, and it was a really great visit. I love my doctor, he is very personable and very passionate about diabetes since both of his parents have it. We looked at what I needed to be taking (my medicine use has been sporadic at best, pure denial) and he put me on my same dosages and wants to see me in a month.

So now I am back on those medicines and testing my glucose at least twice a day. Right now my body is going through an interesting tug of war. The body is so resilient, and when you are a diabetic your body will adjust to whatever your usual or consistent blood sugar levels are. Whether those levels are healthy or not. So when your body is used to higher levels and you take medicines to combat that (in combo with better diet) - your body has to go through withdrawal and adjust to the "new normal". Many folks who have done a low carb diet will recognize this feeling, it feels like having a mild case of the flu for about 2-3 days. And then after that you're good.

Well, I'm on day 4 of eating better and day 2 of being back on full meds. Yeah. I feel like isht. I mean I feel great that I'm doing the right thing, but my body feels like isht. This usually becomes the do or die phase, so to speak. I'll speak more in terms of diet than just meds.

Think about day one of a new way of eating. You are all gung ho. Day two is okay, but you are starting to feel the difference physically and mentally. Day 3 is when you start to really miss some of the old things and think "Can I really do this?" And it is either "Hayle yeah, I can do this!" or "Hayle naw, where are the chocolate chip cookies?"

I'm tentatively on the Hayle Yeah side. Only because I know I can and each day it will get easier. Not easy. But easier.

I want to be around to enjoy my life. I want to love up on my wonderful husband and watch my beautiful sons live their best lives. I don't want to die early from something I could have prevented. I don't want to beg my son or a relative for a kidney because I destroyed my own.

I want to live. Hayle yeah.